don't mean to get all emo on you, but

i'm growing up in the face of evil. i've been pretty numb for quite some time, but sooner or later it will probably hit again. i wish there was cure to all of this. i'm sometimes glad i've matured alot faster than the majority of my friends, and i'm glad that i understand and don't let it consume me anymore. i feel kinda sorry for those who are so easily affected by the things that seem quite miniscule to me now, because they are so common in my life. then again, at times i feel somewhat envious that they have not experienced these things and will deal with them at a later age. i'm growing up with drugs, sex, alcohol, disease, rockbottom, neverending disappointment, and shouts of frustration and desperation constantly around me. going from silver platters to paper plates; the finest champagne to cheap wine out of a box; an almighty golden apex to the blackest, most undesirable depths.

i find it rather humorous when people tell you that thousands of others have it so much worse than you do because most times you feel like you are fighting a war all by yourself, with no backup or reinforcements. i wish all the bad could just mold together and find a way to make everything good. i love how some days everything is going great one minute, and the next thing you know, you come home and hear some of the worst words possible. i want people who need help to actually accept the help that is offered, and for the people who are completely fine and think their life is so fucked to just realize how good they actually have it. i wish there were at least a few happy endings in this lifetime.