by word and example

i've been all of a sudden realizing many things about my life and things that i've just grown up doing, not knowing why or what the purpose was, but that it was just the norm and it's something you would just do every week or day or year. i feel like such a different person, yet the same. i don't remember feeling like this at the beginning of sophomore year at all. i think i'm slowly inching toward a positive place. or maybe i'm just in a good mood and i'll go back to my solitude in the morning. who knows. i think it's funny how sure i was of myself last spring break, and how everything is just different now.

i learn new things about myself each day, some things i like, most things i don't. sometimes i wish i didn't mature so fast, but otherwise i'm glad. i'm thankful. sometimes i hate when i see people overreact to the simplest things, but i do the same thing all the time. today i realized how much of a hypocrite i, and almost everyone i know, am/are/what? that's confusing, but you get it. today i learned that church is a hospital for sinners, not an institute for perfect beings. today i accepted the fact that i will fall, repent, and return, and it will always be okay. today is the day i stop being self-conscious on the inside when people ask me about my faith.

today, i got confirmed.

[DISCLAIMER: now i really don't mean to get all preachy on you, reader, but i like to include a little episcopalian banter here and there.]