what did you expect from me

i'm not over it. i don't know what the conclusion is. i'm so many emotions wrapped into one right now. i always get mad over this. i fucking hate "i'll talk to you later". fuck you, fuck that. you said i'm stupid for not talking to them. at least fucking tell me the rest, i already feel bad enough. won't make that much of a difference even if you say i'm to blame for everything. i'm gonna pop a fucking blood vessel right now. i can't follow my own advice. i'm everything i wrote on that board, nothing of what he wrote on the back. i'm so weak and sensitive. all. the. fucking. time. i hate the ways i decide to deal with everything. i want to scream. i want friends. i want to push myself to get closer again. i feel like i really can't. i'm selfish and naive. i don't get why everything enfolds in all ways except in person sometimes. i'm the only one still hung up on the past. i can't let things go like the rest of you. every fucking body in the group is at least okay with everyone except me. maybe that just means i'm not supposed to be there anymore or i've just fucking kicked myself out. maybe everyone secretly wants me to move on and thinks i'm the biggest dumbass for not doing so. i regret alot of things i say on a limb. i hate that you won't tell me. everyone just sugarcoats everything, especially you. you make me feel so lonely. why can't you give me reassurance just this once?!?!!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?

FUCK!